Quit Plane' With My Emotions

This has been happening to me frequently enough that it seems to be a lasting condition, but when I get on long plane flights, and I have to sit with myself and just my own thoughts without any distractions for hours on end, something horribly embarrassing happens to me: I start to cry. And it's never just a sniff-here, sniff-there kind of cry; it's always a gusher, where I just can't wipe the tears off my face fast enough and have to do this weird turn-thing into the window so I can pretend no one can see that I'm having a breakdown. It's like I'm suddenly reminded of all that's lost, I get anxious about my family and sad about certain situations, or, in this most recent case, I miss my departed cat and that leads to thinking about how she was sick for so long and I didn't even know it and that leads to having to hold her in my lap as she was put to sleep and that leads to the contrast of my friend Jon's death being so quick which probably started this whole crying on planes thing in the first place. That was because I had to leave straight from his funeral on a plane back to San Francisco and didn't cry at all at the funeral and then I got on the plane and was just sitting there and everything hit me all overwhelming and the tears just gushed on down. Since then, it's literally every time I'm on a flight more than four hours it happens--even when I purposely try not to (this time I even took ativan hoping that might put the tears away). Once it starts happening there's no stopping it either, no fighting, it's just time to sit back, let those tears flow, let those shoulders heave, sniffle and boo hoo and have myself a good cry, miles high.