French Quarter Dive Bar Convo

Picture it being the middle of the day. The sun is playing tackle with the clouds outside and keeps breaking through with a hot and humid galumph. There's a gang of gutter punks eyeing my friend and I as we duck into the nearest dive bar.

"Beer," he says, settling into a bar stool.
"Vodka soda," I say, settling into same.

There are three other people at the bar. A big strong dog is lying right in the middle of the floor, tethered to his bar-sitting owner with a leash. Back in the shadows, there's a strung-out guy feverishly playing video poker. The bartender looks feminime tough, she pulls the beer, mixes my drink, slides them on over to us. And sits down on a bar stool of her own.

Guy to my left is saying, "so then he just, he's sitting there right at the bar, and he leans over, tilts over and just vomits all over himself. Man, it was disgusting, and he didn't even get up or nothing, just keep sitting there with puke all over himself."

Waitress: "that's disgusting. I get those guys in my bar all the time. Hate 'em. I mean, have some human decency. who was it?"

Guy: "It was X"
Waitress: "o'course."
Guy: "Yeah, so he's so gross. So you know he's still running that place over there near the X hotel. That bar over there."
Waitress: "Yeah, mmm hmm."
Guy: "And I'm in that bar the other night doing Jaeger shots. Just one after another. I must've lost track or something, I was slamming them. And all's a sudden I realize I'm shitfaced. Just plastered. Fuckin' lean over and puke onto the bar floor. And X, you know, he sees me doing it, he watches the whole thing, and man, he's so nasty, he just pushes over a bar stool and places it over the puke. Doesn't even clean it up or nothing."
Waitress: "Well, that guy's just a dirty fucker. Scum."

Guy: "So I'm at the bar a little longer and when I leave that shit is still there on the floor. And I get home and the next day I look in the closet and find my shirt and it's got Jaeger and puke and shit all over it. Just a mess. My nice shirt, too!"
Waitress: "Damn shame."

Poker Guy in Back of Bar: "Hey dahling, you think you can bring me a shot of Jaegar pretty please?"